Currently Reading....

Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami.  I'm heading to Tokyo in a few weeks, and I have two goals before I get there.  First, read at least one Murakami book.  Second, master Katakana so I can read menus and don't need to drag waiters to the front of the restaurant in order to point at plastic versions of the food thru the window.

Thursdays are Dating Dilemma Day

Thursdays are Dating Dilemma Day...

My friends and I have spent a lot of time dating over the years.  Boys. Girls. Men. Women.  We've dated the entire spectrum of types and kinds, and a lucky few of us have even been fortunate enough to find some of the great ones out there.  But, still there are those of us who continue to strive ahead, wading thru the muck of bad dates, only to be blissfully rewarded with the good ones.  I think with all the stories of heartbreak and happiness I've heard there is enough material for a regular Thursday discussion about dating dilemmas.

So let's start off with an observation I recently made about guys who call girls to setup a date two weeks in advance, then fail to followup with any further communication or interaction.  Isn't the hardest part of asking a person out, the actual act of doing it?  Once you get a "yes", shouldn't you want reap your reward (and go on the date)?

Case in point:  I met a guy at a party a couple weeks ago.  We spoke briefly, but didn't exchange phone numbers at the end of the night.  He then spent the next 2 weeks, trying to track down my number through all of his friends.   Instead of calling immediately, he procrastinates another 2 weeks.  Finally, he calls to tell me that he'd like to take me out for drinks or dinner at some point during the following week, but he will call me early in the week to set it up.   He never calls.

I wish I could say this is the first time that has happened (its more like the fourth), or that he took another 2 weeks to call, as per his style, then we went out and had a great date.  But, that's not how it played.  He simply never called to follow up.

Plausible excuses or reason for why he didn't call:
-I'm boring on the phone.
-He met another girl over the weekend.
-He got into a horrible accident.
-He's not that in to me.  (Okay, well that's actually the truth if he isn't calling...but the point is that he was interested in me enough to spend the time tracking down my number via our mutual friends)

You see, I think the real issue behind guys who prematurely telephone to set something up, then lack follow-thru is that they then have too much time to think about the date, so much so that they begin to over think things.  Why else would they not follow through?

I asked a couple of guy friends for their perspective on the matter, and most of them responded by saying that if they didn't immediately set up a date during an initial phone call, their nerves may get the best of them and therefore would procrastinate on the 2nd phone call, until it was too late.  They also said that  the guys that aren't following through are not actually worth my time....and they are totally right.  I've moved on to the next guy.  But that's a story for another Thursday.

So what do you think?  Why do some guys completely fail to follow through?

Favorite things of the week

-Annie (the John Huston film, one of my favorite movies as a kid and it still makes me smile)
-pedicures
-fabulous friends who immediately email after I send out a distressing, heartbreaking tweet
-delicious saffron and garbanzo bean soup
-forgiveness
-hotel parties in Venice Beach
-Where the Wild Things Are (both the book and movie...I love being reminded of how it felt to be 7),
-dinner with old friends
-picking oranges for Food Forward
-trying out a new restaurant
-Mama Mia (my current favorite guilty pleasure)
-Mechanics that "pay it forward" when you least expect it
-Finding a box of my favorite purses that I thought I had accidentally donated charity
-Having a crush on a cute nerdy boy and feeling like I'm back in high school

A few of my favorite things....

Sometimes I lose track of all the amazing, lovely blessings that have been bestowed upon me.  I don't mean that in a religious way, but in a "see, life is beautiful" kind of way.  So every Tuesday I will to post a list of my favorite things from the past week.... starting now:

Nottinghill (the movie), Trader Joe's Mixed Bean Salad (so delicious and its only $1.09),  Jack...the neighbor's cat that greets me some nights when I come home from work, the scent of tennis balls when you open a new can, TV stars that laugh at the joke you told while walking thru the lobby at work, Polish pottery, new gold tights, silly J-pop videos, Sunday crossword puzzles, making new friends, having heart to heart conversations with old friends, dressing up for Halloween, goat cheese with cranberry, meeting up with friends you haven't seen in years, pumpkin spiced lattes, finding a new brunch spot (the brunch at Proud Bird is insane!), cuddling under the duvet, day-light savings (or at least feeling like i get an extra hour of sleep!).

MEND

Two weeks ago, I took a tour of MEND Poverty in Pacoima. Among other things, Mend is a food bank and job center for impoverished people. The center was inspirational and after hearing from one of their many volunteers I believe they can make their vision ("All residents of our community living in poverty attain self-reliance and contribute to society as caring human beings.") a reality.

The last time I toured a food bank, I was in girl scouts, about 20 years ago.  While I remember being in awe of the many shelves of grocery bags filled with food ready for people to pickup and take home to eat.  I don't remember thinking past the idea of receiving a full bag of free food.  I never thought about the reasons why people were in need of the food, or how it would feel to be in a situation where you had to actually go to a food bank to ask for help.

MEND does an amazing job of treating everyone who visits with dignity.  They don't limit the food donations to the specifics of what they deem people need.  They take everything and using the kitchen staff's immense creativity and abilities to make delicious and filling food for people to eat.  I never thought that I would say this, but it seems to be a place where people would want to hang out.  I mean, the situations people are in are very depressing, but this isn't a sad place.  There is a feeling of hope.

Okay, and I really loved that they were planning on teaching a kitchen skills class that would focus on making marmalade.  I wonder if I could sign up for that class?

http://mendpoverty.org/

Historic walk thru Little Tokyo

A few years ago I was hired by the JET programme to teach English to elementary and middle school kids in rural Japan. It was one of those experiences that completely frustrated me while i was in the middle of it, but in hindsight was a wonderful adventure. I loved the food, the sights, and the blissful ignorance of complete illiteracy (okay, in all honesty, being illiterate was the most painful part of my time there). When I returned to Los Angeles, i had a realization that I didn't have to go half-way around the world to experience the delights of Japan, I just needed to pop down to Little Tokyo for a short afternoon visit.

I admit, I'm a regular at the ramen shop and I often pick up my favorite soda (Gokuri) at the Marukai. But i never contemplated the history of that little neighborhood. So recently, while skimming my JET newsletter, I saw a notice to do a Free Historical tour of Little Tokyo. I immediately signed up and was pretty excited about the overall experience. Did you know that there is a beautiful Japanese garden in the basement of the Japanese American cultural center? Or that Fugetsu-do mochi store is 100 years old? Or that during the period of time that Japanese Americans were sent to internment camps, that the African American population moved into the Little Tokyo neighborhood? And when the JA's were released from the camps, the African Americans gave them back their neighborhood and moved closer to South Central LA? Little Tokyo like many ethnic neighborhoods, has its share of great stories and hidden sights.

After our 2 hour walking adventure, my friend Caroline and I headed to Shabu Shabu. It was a delicious meal and the perfect end to a great afternoon.

Fundraising

In 2 weeks I will be joining my cousin and 2 aunts in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk in San Diego. I've participated in walks like this before and usually donate $100 of my money, and that's the end of it. But this year, I decided to challenge myself and see how much money I could raise, just by reaching out to my closest friends and family. I made it really easy on myself and simply sent out an email, put an ad on my Facebook page, and gently tossed it in to conversations when it seemed appropriate.

Anyhow, I have been overwhelmed by the response I have gotten from friends and family. I know they generally support me in all the crazy things I do (Ukelele lessons, online dating, skeet shooting) but none of my usual endeavors requires much more support than a simple, "Hey that's cool, you are trying (fill in the blank!)." To ask people for financial support (even if it is tax deductible) is hard and awkward. The fact that so many people donated more than the $1 I suggested makes me really proud of my friends and family's support.

All that, and I never had to explain to anyone why I was walking. Actually, that is the thing that bothers me the most. I don't think anyone asked, because I think, like myself, most people I know have been effected by Breast Cancer in some capacity. And they are donating, because they are thinking of their loved one. I wish this was a cause that effected a smaller population, but it effects everyone. And that is sad.

Here is what I learned from this experience: I don't have a future in fundraising, because I don't feel comfortable asking people for donations. Good to know, I can check that off my list.

If you would like to donate to the cause click here, anything you can give ($1, $5) is appreciated.


Thank you.