A few of my favorite things from the past week....

-Caroling with Heidi at the Old Folks Home
- Driving thru the neighborhoods in South Pasadena to check out the Christmas Lights with Lauren and Heidi.
- The ability to check out the fashion trends of a neighborhood, before I go, so I can pack appropriately.
-Cynthia introduced me to her favorite version of THE NUTCRACKER, designed by Maurice Sendak.  Amazing!
-Watching Christmas movies while wrapping presents.
-Love Actually!
- TokyoMade market (like UniqueLA but in Tokyo!) looks awesome!
-Finding a restaurant for X-mas dinner that will make the whole family happy (and getting reservations!)
-Spending time with dear friends and family.

Currently Reading...

Envy (A Luxe novel) by Anna Godbersen

Heidi and I both love this series of books (The Luxe) by Anna Godbersen, it's like Gossip Girl in Victorian times.  Seeing as I love Victorian period literature and I adore Gossip Girl, its the best possible combination a girl could ask for.  And who knows if society girls were as superficial back in the 1800s as they can be now, but I enjoy the idea that not much has actually changed.   Girls still love to dress up, boys still gravitate towards the most attractive and interesting girl in the room.  And The Luxe books are fun, fast, and light reading.  Perfect for the holidays.

Prickly Pear Fruit

I've been curious about the prickly pear cactus fruit for years.  Ever since I was a little girl and discovered a homemade jar of Prickly Pear jam in my mother's pantry.  The jar was never opened and used, I have no idea how it tasted.  Was it sweet, sour, or incredibly bitter?  Who knows?  I just remember it being a vile shade of green, like mushed peas.

So, how surprised was I, to find that the inside of a prickly pear is actually magenta, like dragon fruit.  The fruit itself reminds me of a guava, sweet but full of seeds.  Well, I hope they were seeds and not spider eggs (as the urban legend of the cactus filled with spider eggs, was all I could think about while cutting into the fruit!)

And I think I will consider using the prickly pear in future cooking endeavors, perhaps a pie or martini?  Well at the very least I know what I will be eating the next time I get lost in the desert.

At what point do you just walk out? - Dating Dilemma Thursday

Bad dates seem to be a dime a dozen these days.  I don't mean to sound cynical or incredibly jaded, but in all honesty, I think I'm currently batting one bad date a month on average.  The last one was with a friend of a friend, who kept asking me if I was uncomfortable around him, because I was crossing my arms: bad body language.  I explained it was a pinched nerve and it was the only comfortable position to hold my arm. Apparently, he didn't believe me as he asked me four times why I was giving off such mixed signals with my body language.  But that was minor, compared to the fact that he monopolized all the conversations, and spoke with anger and menace when talking about his family.  I have never been so happy to cut a date short, as this one was extremely awkward.  Surprisingly, it never occurred to me to walk out, I simply wanted to see how bad the date could get.  Which got me thinking, at what point does one actually walk out on a bad date?

Here are the results of a random Ichat poll: Under what circumstances have you walked out on a date?

NJ: "I walked out when a guy broke down and told me about his first suicide attempt.  Apparently he forgot to take the plastic cover off the razor he was planning to use.  Depressed AND Dumb!"

WB: "I have never walked out on a date.  However, I once dropped a girl off early, after she got really pissy about how the night was going."

RH: "I've never walked out on a date, but I should have.  There was a girl, who I went to pick up at her place, while I waited, she proceeded to ignore me as she flirted with her new male roommate.  When we finally got to dinner, she spent the whole time texting her roommate.  It was awful!"

BS: "I have never.  But if I were to walk out, the date would have to be just terrible, completely unbearable.  For instance, she would have to say something so racist that I couldn't even stand to look at her.  But if we rode together, I would still give her a ride home."

I guess, I should confess, I have only walked out on a date once.  It was a guy I had been dating for a few months, who announced, at my friend's birthday party, that he had spent the last weekend sleeping with another girl.  It took me a moment to internally debate the proper etiquette of how to best handle this situation.  But the night ended with me in my car, calling the boy who was still in the bar, and telling him, "I hope you have money for a taxi."  Then driving home, alone.  And puking from anxiety (I don't think that part was acceptable Emily Post protocol.)

Personal Message to one of my Readers....

Currently Reading...

The Risks of Sunbathing Topless and Other Funny Stories from the Road.  Edited by Kate Chynoweth

There is nothing like reading travel stories to get you prepared for a journey.  Since I leave for Tokyo and Beijing next week, this is the perfect book.  The stories are funnier than the majority of travel tales found in most books of collected works.  Not to mention, a bit more relatable.  The truth about going to far flung destinations, way outside your comfort zone is that adventures are messy, things go wrong, passports get lost, and sometimes you end up in jail (all things that have happened to me at one time or another!).  The best adventures are never 100% perfect, and if they were, the stories and memories would never be as magical.

If you are looking for a few funny, short stories, written by some well-traveled girls, I highly suggest picking up this book.

A few of my favorite things from the past week....

-"My favorite color is neon beige." (best quote from the film PRECIOUS)
-10 Reasons you should never get a job - article by Steve Pavlina (fabulously thought-provoking!)
- Scotch tasting and appreciation class with Heidi and Lauren...they let us mix our own scotch!!!
- Heidi's Office Holiday Party (a fantastic evening with a "disco cowboy theme."  See photo on right)
- Dinner parties at Hans' house (I've known him since I was a very small child and its great to have people you've known for so long in your life)
- Pho at Gingergrass (so perfect for a cold, rainy night)
-Homemade real Indian chai (recipe courtesy of my dear friend Drew, I spent a few hours on Saturday tracking down black cardamon pods!)
-Muppets Singing Christmas Carols!
-Parcel packages (I know they have been around forever, but these theme packages just make me happy!)
-Poladroid (I had forgotten how much fun it is to make my pictures look like polaroids!)

Pocket Fuzz

Pocket Fuzz is one of my favorite companions for international travel.  Here are a few photos I found of our trip to Australia together:

Found photos

Was going through an old digital camera and found some random shots I took last January, while shooting a web series at the Westmoreland lofts:

So it wasn't my thing...

I was on a bad date two weeks ago.  It started to go south, when the guy asked me what I was planning to do for the Thanksgiving holiday, and I told him that my best friend and I were taking a 3 day cruise to Ensenada.   Now, although, he had never actually been on a cruise, he felt obliged to inform me that my plans sounded like "hell" and in his mind, being on a cruise ship was the equivalent of being stuck in prison.  AWESOME!

Good news, since I thought that guy was a moron, I stopped listening to him early on, and continued to look forward to my 3 day voyage at sea.  Cynthia and I took off from Long Beach, the Friday after Thanksgiving.  The line to check in and get on the ship took forever, but once we made it onboard, we were set and good to go.

We unpacked in our tiny, tiny room (it totally felt like summer camp!) and headed to the buffet (the first of many).  Once the boat took off, we got dolled up and headed to the dining room, for yet another meal!   Cruise ships are mostly about eating carb-loaded, bland food and drinking overpriced, watered down alcoholic beverages, with strangers I wouldn't normally associate with.  I suppose one gets what they pay for (and in our case it was a $200/3-day cruise), but who are these Thomas Kinkade-loving folk?  And where do they come from?  As much as I love playing anthropologist and studying the local cultures, I have to say, cruise ship people are not my kind of people.  And after 5 hours, I was bored, stir-crazy, and ready to get off the boat!  But I had 2 and a half more days ahead of me.

Then the rocking started.  We hit turbulent waters and I swear, over half of the ship's population suddenly got overwhelmed with seasickness, as the Carnival Paradise wreaked of vomit.  Mental note: next time don't forget candles!

We finally landed in Ensenada, Mexico...only to find cold, pouring rain!  So we settled in at Hussong's Cantina (birthplace of the Margarita) a former favorite watering hole for Hollywood starlets visiting Baja (Marilyn Monroe was known to frequent the bar.)

Back on the boat, with one more day to go.  Our last day was considered a "fun day at sea"... I read my book on deck, under layers of towels and blankets (it was so cold!), drank hot chocolate, and once again hit the bland buffet.  By the time the ship docked at 7 AM Monday morning, Cynthia and I were packed and practically the first people off the boat.

As un-fun as the experience was, I'm glad I can say I tried it and I know without a doubt that Carnival Cruises are not for me.  But there are plenty of other people who love them and think they are the bee's knees.  And unlike the awful man who took me to drinks before the cruise, I would never discourage anyone from giving it a try.

$200
3 days at sea
All-You-Can-Eat Bland food buffets
Who knows it may be your best weekend ever!

Dating Dilemma

Over the last month, I've been fortunate enough, to have met two (2!) super awesome, smart, funny, charming, attractive men, who not only seemed to be interested in me, but whom I was actually interested.  And in both cases, when we got to the end of the evening and were about to part ways, instead of asking for my phone number, they asked if they could Facebook me.  Of course I give permission, but what does that mean?  Do they want to email me? Check out my photos?  See who our mutual friends are?  Build their friend bank?

Maybe I'm old school, but I really miss guys asking for my phone number.  Even though, it meant a small dose of anxiety as to whether or not they would call, at least a girl could tell if the guy was really into her within a week.  If he didn't call by then, clearly he wasn't planning on it.  So move on.

I asked my trusty boys what goes through the male mind when he says: "Can I Facebook you?"

Boy 1: Either a guy just want to add another pretty girl to his friend list or he's shy and wants to get to know more about you.  However if he likes you he will pursue you.

Boy 2: Some girls I Facebook and that's the limit of where I want it to go.  "I'll Facebook you" is a good way to cut it off if you're not that interested.  But if it was somebody I was clicking with, I would ask for her number and also Facebook her.  Unless, it's a girl who I think I will see again soon in a social situation. Then I will just wait to see how it goes the next time I see her.

Hmmm...looks like its back to the drawing board for me.  Although, I will most likely see both of the boys at social functions in the new year.  I guess I just have to see how it goes the next time we all hang out.

Currently Reading...

THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER! By: Barbara Robinson

The Herdmans are the worst family in town, they curse, steal, and bully all the neighborhood kids.  But when they get involved in the local Christmas Pageant, wacky insanity and chaos ensue.  This is one of my favorite holiday stories from childhood and every year at this time, I pull out a paperback copy of the book and reread it.  A totally happy, heartwarming story that reminds me of what it feels like to giggle like a 2nd grader, again.

Check out this mini-movie I found on YouTube, edited down from the 1983 TV movie, starring Loretta Swit and Fairuza Balk.  It doesn't really focus on the awesome, funny parts that made it such a memorable story.   Instead the mini-movie is a bit sentimental, but still worth checking out if you remember watching it as a kid.

A few of my favorite things....

-Finding a pair of boots I've been coveting on the sale rack, then convincing the store to give me an additional discount because the boots were the display model!
-Game night with Ray, Kevin and Luke..(Kevin and I totally beat Ray and Luke at Sequence!)
-Luke's Zale's commercial (he's the cute boy with the sparkler!)
-Free Japanese lessons to brush up on my conversation skills before heading to Tokyo.
-John Goddard's Life List (which made me feel terribly unaccomplished, but also inspired me to revisit a life list that I wrote when I was 17.)
-Small, intimate holiday parties with some of your closest friends.
-Mary Poppins at the Ahmanson (I love that she flies over the audience at the end of the show!)
-UniqueLA's holiday craft sale. (my favorite purchase is this ring by Plastique!)
-The Princess and the Frog...I love that Disney is doing 2-D animation again.  And this story is so happy and heartwarming, I really enjoyed watching it.

Dating Dilemma Thursday: Black Friday

Here is an interesting theory on dating, told to me by one of my favorite guys: "The cut off for going on a first date with a new person before the holidays is Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving).  If you haven't asked the person out by that point in time, you should wait until after New Years."
"Seriously?  Why set a limitation on when you can ask someone out?  Especially if they are a great person?"

He responded with a list of reasons, mainly that the holidays are such a busy time with parties, shopping, and catching up with family and friends, that its hard to focus on starting something new.  Plus the etiquette of whether or not to get a gift for the new person seems to be too much to focus on for this time of year.

Lucky for him, he was able to meet a nice girl the week of Thanksgiving, AND set up a date with her for Black Friday.  Perfect timing on his part.
In some ways, I am in agreement with him.  The weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years seem to fly by in a blur.  Seriously, its already December 3rd?  My social calendar is almost completely booked until January 4, I've actually had to schedule time for shopping so I wouldn't stress myself out.  Of course, I always make time for my dearest friends, and if someone special came along, I would make time for him, too.  But beginning something new during the holidays is tricky and a teensy bit stressful.

Now, many of my girlfriends, and a few guy friends think this theory is completely off.  The reason being that "timing will always be wrong, if you allow it to be."  In other words, if you meet someone amazing, go for it.  Don't worry about something so little, as the time of year.    And who knows, you could be lucky like my friend Natasha, who was set up with her now husband, Judson, early in December.  If they had played by the Post Black Friday rule they might never have met.

What do you think?  Is there any reason not to start something new, post Black Friday?  Email your stories to me at: kikuejewels at gmail.com

Oh and my solution to gift giving for a 2-3 week long relationship is simply to gift a copy of your favorite book.  It's not expensive, it's not sentimental, but simply thoughtful.  Perfect!

Fruit Sushi

Ahh...Thanksgiving.  The day when we gorge ourselves with turkey, stuffing, cranberries, mashed potatoes and gravy.  Bleh!!!  It is my least favorite holiday.  I haven't been a fan of the traditional foods since I was 5 years old, and overate too much stuffing, making myself sick, ruining forevermore the need and desire to eat any and all of the traditional Thanksgiving dishes.  So my family tradition has long involved a multitude of foods: turkey, ham, and sushi, along with salads and the traditional foods.  Since moving to Los Angeles, I spend most of my Thanksgivings with my family in Colorado.  There we celebrate by eating at the family restaurant  where my cousin Sven makes the most delicious meals...and I am not bound by any traditions to eat turkey, stuffing, or potatoes.  Instead, I change my order every year, depending on the mood.  Of course there are no leftovers at the end of the night (everything is so yummy, why would there be?) but that just makes the meal even more special...you have one chance to really savor all the flavors!

This year, I spent Thanksgiving in Apple Valley, California, with my Auntie Emi's family.  I have a lot of cousins and younger 2nd cousins, which make it lively and boisterous when we all get together.  And since, i knew there would be a traditional meal to look forward to, I had to make sure there was something that I could eat.  So this year, my contribution was Fruit Sushi...a messy, yet yummy, lightly sweet dessert.

What you need:
-Coconut Sticky Rice (buy the pre-made stuff from a thai restaurant or thai bakery)
-Mango
-Apples
-Asian Pear
-Papaya
-Persimmons
-Berries for garnish

Cut the fruit into sticks.  Set aside.
Take a piece of parchment paper and place it over a bamboo sushi mat, spread rice evenly over the paper (because it is so sticky, it helps if you plop some rice down, then cover it with another piece of parchment paper, then use a rolling pin to roll it out evenly.  Take off the top sheet of parchment paper before continuing.)  Place and assortment of fruit sticks in a horizontal line across the rice (click here to see an example using avocado).  Roll your sushi, being careful not to get the parchment paper stuck inside the roll.  Stick in the refrigerator for an hour, cut, and serve.  Use berries to garnish and make the plate look pretty!

Tuesday's favorite things

-Maira Kalman's NY Times Blog about slow food (I love her illustrations and whimsical way of explaining how she sees the world.)
-MI-5 (I've just discovered this fun BBC gem on Netflix, and I can't get enough of it!)
-Realizing that cruise ships aren't "your thing," but being grateful you were able to make an informed decision (and being even more grateful that you aren't still stuck on the boat!)
-House/dog sitting for 2 big dogs who LOVE long walks at night and in the morning.
-New Astrologyzone horoscope!!!
-This beautiful video from the New Zealand Book Council
-My talented friend Brooke's new website, showcasing her beautiful artwork (including a lovely piece I bought from her a year ago.)
-Babes in Toyland (I love Christmas movies...even the cheesy ones!)
-Brown paper packages tied up with string...I must begin my holiday wrapping!
-Dishing about good and bad dates, the economy, and other insane topics over gingerbread pancakes at IHOP.
-Holiday dress shopping (the invitations have begun to arrive daily!!)
-Being able to celebrate Thanksgiving with good family and friends.

Currently Reading....

Currently reading Fruits Basket volume 2.

I had no idea what the premise of this manga series was.  But, I knew it was very popular with manga-philes, so I decided to give it a go.  Much, to my surprise the premise follows an orphan who is taken in by a family harboring a deep, dark secret...oooh!  Apparently, the members of the Sohma family have been cursed and whenever they are touched by a member of the opposite sex they turn into an animal from the Chinese zodiac.  The premise and artwork are fantastic!  The narration is only so-so.  I'm glad I was able to check out the first couple volumes of this series as I had been curious as to why it was so popular.  Now I know, and as the great and wise G.I. Joe used to say, "and knowing is half the battle."

Dating Dilemma Thursday

This week's dilemma was told to me by a dear friend over lunch the other day. Honestly, I thought she was kidding, but it's totally a true story:

"So I was staying at a hotel with a guy who'd been flirting with me over email for quite some time. Yes, we'd met before. Staying together in a hotel room, pretty much meant that I was open to 'sealing the deal' with him, if you know what I mean... Only thing is, once we got back to the room after a nice dinner, I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. And when I came out, he was wearing nothing but a leopard print 'banana hammock.' I had no idea how to react. So, I started laughing. I mean, was he serious? Well, I guess laughing wasn't kosher with him, because nothing happened the rest of the weekend. But how was I to know, that he thought he was being suave, sexy, and was totally serious?"

Wow! Where do we begin? Normally, laughter breaks any sort of tension and puts everyone in a better mood. But clearly, this guy was very serious about his undies (and clearly a tad insecure). I guess the only thing to do, is ask the guys: Are girls allowed to laugh at men who wear silly underwear and think they are being sexy?

Bachelor #1:
"Yeah, I can't believe anybody would do that sincerely thinking it would turn anyone on.
I guess, if a swarthy 60 year old italian man was letting you stay at his villa, then maybe he's being serious (about his undies). But that's the only time"
Bachelor #2:
"Under no circumstances should a girl laugh at a guy's underwear, especially if he's trying to be sexy. Guys are totally insecure, and laughing at them while they are almost totally naked makes them even more vulnerable. You have to look at the leopard print underwear, and imagine a little kid in his underoos...the kid thinks he's superman in those underwear. This guy thought leopard print made him look like 'sex on a stick.'
Bachelor #3:
"Hopefully, a dude wearing a leopard print hammock is doing it for the laugh. If he thinks its sexy then he deserves to be laughed at!"

So there you have it...2-1 Men in stupid underwear are fair game to laugh at. Of course, bachelor #2 had a great point, in that you should judge your audience before laughing at them... especially if they are in the state of being nearly nude.

Persimmons

    When I lived in Japan, I was slightly obsessed with the trees that flowered with small, fruits covered in paper bags.  I would ask again and again, "what kind of fruits are on those trees?" And, "why are they hidden?"  The repeated answer was, "kaki."  A difficult word to translate, because I was unfamiliar with the fruit.
     Soon enough, I learned to love kaki...or persimmons.  The lightly, sweet fruits were like nothing I had ever tasted before.  Now, I look forward to the fall when persimmons become ripe and widely available.
     Last weekend, with a surplus of persimmons on hand, I decided to create a salsa using ingredients found in my refrigerator.

Basically, I chopped and minced the following, then mixed together in a bowl:
-2 Fuyu Persimmons
-Grated Ginger (about an inch worth)
-Fresh Mint
-1 Serrano Chile
-Red Onion
-Juice of one Lime

The salsa served with Sharp Cheddar Quesadillas were the perfect combination of sweet and savory.  So yummy, I highly recommend you try it!

Tuesday's favorite things

My favorite things from the past week:
-LA Kings (I Love Hockey!)
-MOCA
-Jessica Kagan Cushman jewelry, especial this ring:









-Accidentally On Purpose (not quite sure why I relate to this show, but I totally do!)
-Half priced Sushi lunches with Nancy J.
-Tatty Devine's new line for the holidays.
-SilverLake's new public library (so many fresh, new books available to borrow...eek! I was overwhelmed!)
-Getting back my favorite Gillian Wearing poster from the framer and finding that I love the piece more than ever! (I dropped the the frame 10 years ago, and cracked the glass, then put it in storage. I've only just now gotten around to fixing it!)

Overheard at the MOCA's 30th birthday party

Heidi and I had so much fun at the MOCA's 30th birthday party, making new friends, checking out MOCA's amazing collection (Ed Ruscha's Chocolate Room, anyone?), and getting a start on our holiday shopping.  Hanging out with a bunch of art lovers sometimes gives way to fab quotes.

Here are my favorite overheard bits from the night:

"Don't be cold!  Don't be cold! Don't be cold" ~Cute girl in a short dress with no stockings, thinking warm thoughts!!

"I interpret African Swahili dance!" ~ A pickup line used on Heidi

"People move to LA for 3 reasons: a job, a relationship, or the burritos."
"But, I don't know anyone who moved to LA for the burritos."
"Then you need to get out and make more friends!" ~ clever and insightful discussion between 2 locals.

"You girls have the grace of Jerry's kids" ~ Told to us by an amused New Yorker, who watched us attempt dignity while walking down the 2nd Street hill in high heels.

Sometimes I hear a quote and I can't help but fall in love with it, even if its a cheesy one found on an advertisement.

"She marches to the beat of her own drum.  He marches to the beat of time."

Check out this cute black and white "Christmas Stories" advert on Yoox.com.

Is it just drinks? Just dinner? Or is it a date?

Recently, I received this email from one of my best friends:

"Ok, so i didn't know if it was a date from the asking out stage due to the fact that boat boy and i are (were?!) friends and have done tons of stuff in groups and hung out just the 2 of us a few times. he left a vm saying, "comedian xxx will be playing the local theater in 3 weeks. let me know if you want to go, i'm getting tickets." yeah, totally vague and three weeks out?! it wasn't until i met him at the restaurant and realized it was just the two of us (and the fact that he actually did his hair) that it was a date. but never actually felt like a date the entire night. he didn't touch me once and not a single compliment! seriously, i should of showed up in my pajamas and with rumpled hair and no make-up...."

One of the most confusing social engagements for the modern girl is the casual meet up.  You meet someone through work, at a friend's birthday dinner, or on your kickball team.  You start chatting about movies, books, or travel and suddenly, you realize both of you have a lot in common.    But it all feels pretty platonic.  He asks if you want to grab a drink or dinner or catch a concert sometime.  Clearly, it must be a date.  But, yet it felt platonic.  How do you tell the difference?

Well, if you show up and he starts by mentioning his girlfriend, boyfriend, or wife it is immediately clear.  If only we could all be so lucky.  Usually, the conversation flows in the same manner it did when you first met, and there isn't always an opportunity to bring up relationship status.  So when you get to the end of evening, the question becomes to hug or to kiss?


I polled a couple of my favorite guys and asked for pointers on how you can tell if a meet up is platonic or a date.  Here's what they had to say:

If you (the girl) are about to have dinner with someone you've known for awhile and consider them to be a friend, but they want it to be something more here are some clues you should be on the lookout for before meeting up:

-Is the location a nicer place than where you typically meet up?
-Do you usually eat in groups but now its just the two of you?
-Do you usually meet at a location, but now you are carpooling?
-Is it spur of the moment or planned in advance?

Once you are in the midst of dinner or drinks, look for these clues:

-Is he/she dressed up more than usual?
-What is he/she ordering to drink?  Splitting a bottle of wine can seem romantic, where getting a pint of beer seems very buddy/buddy. (Of course this is subjective to the meal and where you are meeting.)
-What is he/she ordering to eat?  Are they ordering to impress the other party?

The big thing that both guys agree on is the conversation.  What is being said?  Is the girl being more flirty than usual?  Is he or she talking about people they are currently dating?  Or digging for clues about where you are at relationship-wise?

Now if a guy, who happens to be a friend AND super shy asks you to dinner, consider that he may be trying to show that he likes you.  It took a lot of guts for him even ask you out.  A lot of girls that I am friends with are very cynical about the shy guy, because they think, if a guy likes you...he's going to get over his nerves, fears, and shyness.  But the more I discuss this with the guys in my life, I have found that it really doesn't matter if you are a girl or a guy, insecurities and shyness make it difficult to express interest in someone you like.

So...if that shy guy makes the effort to ask you to drinks, dinner, or a movie, AND you like him, but aren't sure.  Give him a break, and make an effort to show that you like him too.

Here is what the shy guys suggest:

-Try to be slightly flirty (which doesn't mean rip off all your clothes and immediately jump into bed...have some control!)
-Touching their arm
-Laughing at their lame jokes
-Showing that you are interested (Duh!)

All of these tips seem pretty obvious.  But sometimes, its just plain hard to tell what the other person is thinking and you don't want to misjudge the situation.  In which case, the best thing to do is to just flat out ask, "Is this a date?"  I know its totally awkward, and honestly I tend more towards playing games, and creating "what if" scenarios in my head.  But if you want clarity... the direct approach is without a doubt the best way to go.

Tuesday's favorite things

-Disneyland when its decorated for the winter holidays.
-Snowfall (especially if its the faux snow at Disneyland, because it isn't as cold as the real stuff)
-Homemade carmel corn
-Acupuncture
-Good books that relate to your current situation (The Lost Girls, by Laurie Fox)
-Designing holiday cards
-Sequined black berets
-My little brother*, who makes me laugh, is super smart, and knows how to put things in perspective.
-Dearest guy friends who play along, (even if you are acting like you are stuck in High School) and do digging to find out if your crush likes you.
-Gossip Girl
-Waking up early enough to read a couple chapters of a good book.

* Artwork by Mandy Sutcliffe.  Check out her stuff and other amazing artists with free downloadable art here.

Currently Reading....

Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami.  I'm heading to Tokyo in a few weeks, and I have two goals before I get there.  First, read at least one Murakami book.  Second, master Katakana so I can read menus and don't need to drag waiters to the front of the restaurant in order to point at plastic versions of the food thru the window.

Thursdays are Dating Dilemma Day

Thursdays are Dating Dilemma Day...

My friends and I have spent a lot of time dating over the years.  Boys. Girls. Men. Women.  We've dated the entire spectrum of types and kinds, and a lucky few of us have even been fortunate enough to find some of the great ones out there.  But, still there are those of us who continue to strive ahead, wading thru the muck of bad dates, only to be blissfully rewarded with the good ones.  I think with all the stories of heartbreak and happiness I've heard there is enough material for a regular Thursday discussion about dating dilemmas.

So let's start off with an observation I recently made about guys who call girls to setup a date two weeks in advance, then fail to followup with any further communication or interaction.  Isn't the hardest part of asking a person out, the actual act of doing it?  Once you get a "yes", shouldn't you want reap your reward (and go on the date)?

Case in point:  I met a guy at a party a couple weeks ago.  We spoke briefly, but didn't exchange phone numbers at the end of the night.  He then spent the next 2 weeks, trying to track down my number through all of his friends.   Instead of calling immediately, he procrastinates another 2 weeks.  Finally, he calls to tell me that he'd like to take me out for drinks or dinner at some point during the following week, but he will call me early in the week to set it up.   He never calls.

I wish I could say this is the first time that has happened (its more like the fourth), or that he took another 2 weeks to call, as per his style, then we went out and had a great date.  But, that's not how it played.  He simply never called to follow up.

Plausible excuses or reason for why he didn't call:
-I'm boring on the phone.
-He met another girl over the weekend.
-He got into a horrible accident.
-He's not that in to me.  (Okay, well that's actually the truth if he isn't calling...but the point is that he was interested in me enough to spend the time tracking down my number via our mutual friends)

You see, I think the real issue behind guys who prematurely telephone to set something up, then lack follow-thru is that they then have too much time to think about the date, so much so that they begin to over think things.  Why else would they not follow through?

I asked a couple of guy friends for their perspective on the matter, and most of them responded by saying that if they didn't immediately set up a date during an initial phone call, their nerves may get the best of them and therefore would procrastinate on the 2nd phone call, until it was too late.  They also said that  the guys that aren't following through are not actually worth my time....and they are totally right.  I've moved on to the next guy.  But that's a story for another Thursday.

So what do you think?  Why do some guys completely fail to follow through?

Favorite things of the week

-Annie (the John Huston film, one of my favorite movies as a kid and it still makes me smile)
-pedicures
-fabulous friends who immediately email after I send out a distressing, heartbreaking tweet
-delicious saffron and garbanzo bean soup
-forgiveness
-hotel parties in Venice Beach
-Where the Wild Things Are (both the book and movie...I love being reminded of how it felt to be 7),
-dinner with old friends
-picking oranges for Food Forward
-trying out a new restaurant
-Mama Mia (my current favorite guilty pleasure)
-Mechanics that "pay it forward" when you least expect it
-Finding a box of my favorite purses that I thought I had accidentally donated charity
-Having a crush on a cute nerdy boy and feeling like I'm back in high school

A few of my favorite things....

Sometimes I lose track of all the amazing, lovely blessings that have been bestowed upon me.  I don't mean that in a religious way, but in a "see, life is beautiful" kind of way.  So every Tuesday I will to post a list of my favorite things from the past week.... starting now:

Nottinghill (the movie), Trader Joe's Mixed Bean Salad (so delicious and its only $1.09),  Jack...the neighbor's cat that greets me some nights when I come home from work, the scent of tennis balls when you open a new can, TV stars that laugh at the joke you told while walking thru the lobby at work, Polish pottery, new gold tights, silly J-pop videos, Sunday crossword puzzles, making new friends, having heart to heart conversations with old friends, dressing up for Halloween, goat cheese with cranberry, meeting up with friends you haven't seen in years, pumpkin spiced lattes, finding a new brunch spot (the brunch at Proud Bird is insane!), cuddling under the duvet, day-light savings (or at least feeling like i get an extra hour of sleep!).

MEND

Two weeks ago, I took a tour of MEND Poverty in Pacoima. Among other things, Mend is a food bank and job center for impoverished people. The center was inspirational and after hearing from one of their many volunteers I believe they can make their vision ("All residents of our community living in poverty attain self-reliance and contribute to society as caring human beings.") a reality.

The last time I toured a food bank, I was in girl scouts, about 20 years ago.  While I remember being in awe of the many shelves of grocery bags filled with food ready for people to pickup and take home to eat.  I don't remember thinking past the idea of receiving a full bag of free food.  I never thought about the reasons why people were in need of the food, or how it would feel to be in a situation where you had to actually go to a food bank to ask for help.

MEND does an amazing job of treating everyone who visits with dignity.  They don't limit the food donations to the specifics of what they deem people need.  They take everything and using the kitchen staff's immense creativity and abilities to make delicious and filling food for people to eat.  I never thought that I would say this, but it seems to be a place where people would want to hang out.  I mean, the situations people are in are very depressing, but this isn't a sad place.  There is a feeling of hope.

Okay, and I really loved that they were planning on teaching a kitchen skills class that would focus on making marmalade.  I wonder if I could sign up for that class?

http://mendpoverty.org/

Historic walk thru Little Tokyo

A few years ago I was hired by the JET programme to teach English to elementary and middle school kids in rural Japan. It was one of those experiences that completely frustrated me while i was in the middle of it, but in hindsight was a wonderful adventure. I loved the food, the sights, and the blissful ignorance of complete illiteracy (okay, in all honesty, being illiterate was the most painful part of my time there). When I returned to Los Angeles, i had a realization that I didn't have to go half-way around the world to experience the delights of Japan, I just needed to pop down to Little Tokyo for a short afternoon visit.

I admit, I'm a regular at the ramen shop and I often pick up my favorite soda (Gokuri) at the Marukai. But i never contemplated the history of that little neighborhood. So recently, while skimming my JET newsletter, I saw a notice to do a Free Historical tour of Little Tokyo. I immediately signed up and was pretty excited about the overall experience. Did you know that there is a beautiful Japanese garden in the basement of the Japanese American cultural center? Or that Fugetsu-do mochi store is 100 years old? Or that during the period of time that Japanese Americans were sent to internment camps, that the African American population moved into the Little Tokyo neighborhood? And when the JA's were released from the camps, the African Americans gave them back their neighborhood and moved closer to South Central LA? Little Tokyo like many ethnic neighborhoods, has its share of great stories and hidden sights.

After our 2 hour walking adventure, my friend Caroline and I headed to Shabu Shabu. It was a delicious meal and the perfect end to a great afternoon.

Fundraising

In 2 weeks I will be joining my cousin and 2 aunts in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk in San Diego. I've participated in walks like this before and usually donate $100 of my money, and that's the end of it. But this year, I decided to challenge myself and see how much money I could raise, just by reaching out to my closest friends and family. I made it really easy on myself and simply sent out an email, put an ad on my Facebook page, and gently tossed it in to conversations when it seemed appropriate.

Anyhow, I have been overwhelmed by the response I have gotten from friends and family. I know they generally support me in all the crazy things I do (Ukelele lessons, online dating, skeet shooting) but none of my usual endeavors requires much more support than a simple, "Hey that's cool, you are trying (fill in the blank!)." To ask people for financial support (even if it is tax deductible) is hard and awkward. The fact that so many people donated more than the $1 I suggested makes me really proud of my friends and family's support.

All that, and I never had to explain to anyone why I was walking. Actually, that is the thing that bothers me the most. I don't think anyone asked, because I think, like myself, most people I know have been effected by Breast Cancer in some capacity. And they are donating, because they are thinking of their loved one. I wish this was a cause that effected a smaller population, but it effects everyone. And that is sad.

Here is what I learned from this experience: I don't have a future in fundraising, because I don't feel comfortable asking people for donations. Good to know, I can check that off my list.

If you would like to donate to the cause click here, anything you can give ($1, $5) is appreciated.


Thank you.

Crafting...

I had plans to volunteer for Food Forward over the past weekend. But got an email from them letting me know they had enough volunteers for their harvest. I hope to have another opportunity to work with them in the near future.

So instead of honing the skills of a migrant farm worker, I spent Saturday, aiding my friend Natasha with her quest to finish creating some of the elements of her wedding bouquet. Since her wedding is a still a month away, i won't give away any secrets of what we made. But it was a pleasant afternoon of crafting. Too bad I can't spend all of my volunteering time at craft hour with my friends.

Next up: Fundraising for a Walk against Breast Cancer in San Diego. Here is the link to my home page, if you would like to donate:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY10California?px=3246000&pg=personal&fr_id=19783&fl=en_US&et=Ergdh0szGuRuKhK1D5SQNA..&s_tafId=379857

Coastal Cleanup

September 19, 2009: Heal the Bay's Costal Cleanup Day

On paper, volunteering for this event seemed like it would be a literal "day at the beach." Living in LA, I go to the beach a couple of times a month, but have never noticed a surplus of litter. Of course there is a smattering of trash, here and there, but nothing that would make a day of volunteer garbage cleanup seem too taxing.

I WAS SO WRONG!!!! Heidi and I chose to help at the Redondo Beach King Harbor (aka the yacht club), basically we were picking up trash off the rock jetty. It was hard, hard work, and extremely disgusting. The amount of litter found superficially, on top the rocks was minimal. But the garbage found in the crevices, under the rocks, in the holes: totally mind blowing! I think I broke a sweat after the first 20 minutes, which was about the time i found myself lying face down on a rock, reaching into a hole for the remains of a cardboard case of Corona.

The most heartbreaking moments came when we would see a piece of garbage: a plastic bag, an empty bottle, a Coke can or the trash remains of a picnic, that was too far out of our reach. I remember an instance where I was crouching in a hole, stretching with all my might for a Gatorade bottle, a Subway bag, fishing line, and a ripped up black garbage bag...but to no avail. I don't think I have ever wanted anything more that I wanted to reach that "treasure". It hurt to know I was so close but had no choice, but to walk away.

Between the two of us, we filled three bags of trash and two bags of recyclables, that's a lot of waste when considering the fact that we were out there for 2 hours along with about 30 other people who also brought in multiple bags of trash/recyclables.

Heal the Bay's Coastal Cleanup Day was an overall success. They had 14,038 volunteers and picked up over 300,000 lbs of trash and recyclables...pretty awesome.

If you are interested in volunteering with Heal the Bay (they have many volunteer opportunities) check them out here: http://www.healthebay.org/

And so it begins...

It's so ordinary and banal to admit that i am "that girl." You know the one who woke up one day but didn't want to get out of bed because she swore she was in a creative rut. "I'm so boring!" she proclaimed. Then went back to sleep, hoping she could get back to the REM state and work it out. Of course, then she overslept and was late to work. And so, a vicious cycle began.

Unfortunately, it happens every autumn, like clockwork to me. I think its because the end of summer feels so foreboding: no more carefree days, leaves change, kids go back to school, temperatures begin to drop, and I, regrettably, fall into that rut.

This year, I've decided to take action. I am on a search for something to feel passionate about. Something that will inspire me and maybe change my life, but most importantly, get me out of the creative rut. In the past, whenever I felt uninspired, I hopped on a plane and went somewhere new and foreign. But money is tight this year, so i must find inspiration elsewhere. My plan is to volunteer my time with a variety of organizations.

Trying new things, meeting new people, its just like traveling but this time I don't have to leave my hometown of Los Angeles.